There are all kinds of awarenesses here lately.
November is adoption awareness month and there is a lot I want to say about adoption and how it has affected our lives over the last year. I tried to write just one post about it but it was crazy disorganized and long and really hard to follow so I decided to break it down into bite-sized pieces to help with digestion.
I’m going to start at the beginning of our adoption journey with how we became certified to adopt.
More than a year ago Rabbit and I started the process to become eligible to adopt from foster care because we had gotten wind of two little sisters that needed a home and decided to try and adopt them because we get these big ideas sometimes. We learned before the second class that the girls were already being placed but we decided to continue with the process anyway and became officially approved in January after months of classes and two home study visits.
The 27 hours of classes were absolutely free. They were each 3 hours long, once a week, with subjects ranging from interracial adoption to sexual abuse to foster child behavior to a heartwrenching story of a little boy who committed suicide.
7 years old.
If a child is in foster care it almost always involves some sort of abuse and neglect and learning about the plight of so many orphaned children… It just hurts.
We pushed through and finished the classes in about 2 months. We had to get fingerprinted, request references from 10 different people including family, friends, neighbors, and employers, and schedule our two home study visits. Ryan worked on getting most of the references for us and I completed as much of the paperwork I could get done myself (there is a lot of paperwork). Preparing for the home visits was absolutely scary to me and I was so nervous about them. However, it turned out that there was nothing to be frightened about.
The social worker who completed our home study was very nice and disarming. She spoke to each of my kids alone, then spoke to Rabbit and me together. She asked pointed questions about our relationship with each other and with our extended family, our finances, our pasts, and our plans for the future. She asked each of our kids about their relationship with us and how they are disciplined and what they would change and while we couldn’t be present at the time of questioning, we did get her notes back when our home study was approved. I think it was Lucy who was the only one who would change anything and I think she said she would change the color of our house to purple.
Once she had finished up all the questioning on the second visit, the social worker did a quick look through our home to make sure we didn’t have a meth lab or anything. It was so easy.
Within a month of completing our classes, our home study was finished and approved and we were eligible to adopt.
I’m not sure what the next post on this subject will be about. I want to write about what I took away from the classes, what I learned about a hopelessly broken system, and about loving children who were not born to me. About honesty and blame and guilt.
About the grief in failure.
And trusting God’s plan.