Apparently, and I didn’t realize this until today, I am supposed to be easily offended by questions/comments about Lanie’s vision, particularly about her glasses. There is a whole community of people who are dealing with similar issues who’ve made lists of what not to say to parents of babies with glasses and, seriously people…
Here’s what I’m talking about, with responses to help you better understand.
What’s wrong with her eyes? Um, no. Just because she wears glasses you automatically assume something is wrong with her eyes?
Are those glasses real? Don’t even. Of course they’re real. I wouldn’t make my child wear glasses if there wasn’t something wrong with her eyes. Sheesh.
She looks so cute in those glasses! Who raised you? Are you seriously suggesting that she doesn’t look cute without them? (Like when I tell you that you look really good in purple, I’m basically saying that you look like crap in every other color.)
And the absolute number one thing that I’ve read that you should say to a parent of a baby or toddler with glasses…
A comment about anything other than her glasses. Because if you all pretend you don’t see them, maybe they aren’t really there to begin with.
All joking aside, I have a 4 month old who has had two eye surgeries and wears contacts or glasses all the time and even I’m afraid now to ask somebody a question about their child’s glasses for fear of offending.
Personally, I think it’s unfair to expect people to tip toe around me and watch their every word because I might be uncomfortable with my baby’s medical issues. When we make people afraid to ask questions we cause them instead to stare because curiosity is a natural thing. I don’t like to be stared at so please just ask me a question. I’m cool with it. And even if I’m not, it’s still okay.
Yes, my child is different. News flash… Everybody is different.
You can ask me anything about my baby’s glasses, contacts, down syndrome, etc… You can ask me what is wrong with her eyes because there is something wrong with her eyes. You can ask me if her glasses are real because it is unusual to see a baby in glasses. Lanie was born with very dense bilateral cataracts and she had to have surgeries to have both lenses removed. That is not normal and I think it’s silly to expect other people to pretend like it is.
When she is old enough I want Lanie to be very comfortable answering questions about her condition, but if she sees that I’m uncomfortable and offended by others’ curiosities, she’s more likely to become uncomfortable and offended as well.
And she is stinking cute in her glasses, darnit. There is no arguing that. I guess it’s something I’m just going to have to learn to live with.
congenital cataracts • Lanie