A few days ago, just after I started cooking a bunch of eggs, I noticed a large, crappily boxed package in my living room.   Nobody claimed to know where it came from so naturally I assumed it was a bomb and was getting ready to call the Navy.  Ben looked up from his video game right in the nick of time and let me know that he had answered the door earlier when the UPS man dropped the package off.  I had been in my room nursing Maggie and I asked him why he didn’t come and tell me that we had received a package and he said he though I knew. When I asked him how I would know that he just shrugged his shoulders and said, I don’t know.  I just thought you probably already knew, because obviously ESP is in my job description.

The address label was a generic, nondescript UPS label.  Wondering what could be in the box, I grabbed a pair of scissors and got to opening it.

My eggs were just starting to cook.  I was just starting to smell their vegetable and eggy goodness.

I pulled out some of the packaging paper when the understated, yet potent smell of used lard, dirty dishes, and body odor made its way up into my nostrils where it tried to make a permanent home.

It was in this moment that I recalled Rabbit winning a set of 6 pans from a government surplus auction a few cities over.  They shipped them to us instead of bringing them to the local auction the next day because that was easier for them.

Yeah.  Easier for them than having to refund our money because the pans included rotten food and two of them were so warped that they were unusable and obviously more suited for the dumpster than for cooking.  None of that was in the description at all and the picture in the auction was taken at an angle that made the pans only look previously used, not like they had been in a prison riot during the zombie apocalypse.

In their defense, the description did say Condition Unknown Not Tested.  But since they had gotten close enough to take a picture for the auction I had just figured they would have seen if there had been any left over food.

I know what you’re thinking. Pictures or it didn’t happen so I took some of my own for you.

pan1

I’m not even kidding, people. This is representative of 4 of the 6 pans we received.

pan3

This is one of the two warped ones.

pan2

I had trouble capturing its true warped-ness but it was seriously oval and the bottom of the pan was no longer flat but had rounded out nicely as if it had been bashed across a very round, very hard head.

Did I mention that I opened these while I was cooking eggs for myself for dinner because I couldn’t eat the cheese in the dinner I had cooked for the family?

I completely lost my appetite.  As a matter of fact, I couldn’t eat anything for close to 24 hours.  That is how bad it was.  Every time I thought about food the smell returned.

I almost feel sick just thinking about it.

So the moral of the story is to not have any reasonable expectations from government auctions that may or may not include used but not cleaned or even wiped out prison cookware that may or may not have been used as weapons at one time. Not that I’m biased against prison pots and pans.  But I am.

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Filed under: FunnySometimes we do stuffUm...went to an auction

The Lucy and Jesse show #4.

It’s hard to capture Lucy and Jesse just being Lucy and Jesse together but this video is a fairly close representation of their relationship.

Enjoy.

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Filed under: Friends & FamilyJesseLucy

Not sweating comes at a high price here during the Florida summers, and often the rest of the year too, so I bought one of those Intex quickset above ground pools that I would say is more pain in the butt than it is worth except it’s keeping the kids cool so I don’t have to run the air conditioner all the live long day.

Our electric bill is still unbelievable so I’m not sure it’s working but at least the kids are having a blast doing something other than playing video games.

It’s not the beach though.  I miss walking to the beach every day in the summer.  I would like to live on the beach again.

kidsinpool

Kaity-Jane captured some of the backyard fun with her way cool camera skillz.

kidsinpool2

And I got some pictures of Maggie enjoying herself in her little wading pool.

maggiesplashes

 I couldn’t get a picture of her looking at the camera or smiling because she would not look at the camera and did not smile even once.  Apparently splashing is very serious work.

Even while sitting on a quilt watching the other kids play she was all business.

maggieonquilt

Maggie is closing in on 9 months now and we’re seeing her personality blossom.  Her facial expressions while observing and experiencing new things range from contemplative to downright austere.  She’s got a terrific poker face.
Plus, she took three steps on Sunday so maybe she’s feeling like a grown up or something.  Kait was my earliest walker at about 9 1/2 months. It appears as though Maggie may being trying out for the title.

She does smile though. And often.

maggieinhat

Totes adorbs, people. Totes adorbs.

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Filed under: BoysFloridaFriends & FamilyMaggie

Whats do they haves on their faces-es

It would seem lately that masks of any and all sorts are all the rage in my family.  I was going through some recent pictures and found that I have captured quite a few moments where one of my children was wearing some kind of disguise.

Here we have Sam in his new swim mask.  I have already posted a picture of this, I think.  But it fits the post so I thought I’d post another.  Plus, he’s wearing fins in this one so bonus.

sammask

Here is Gabe with the same swim mask on his face.

gabemask

The root beer box on his head definitely ties the whole look together, don’t you think?

Sam again.  Not sure what kind of statement he was trying to make but it’s something.

sammask2

And Jesse put on this simple, understated, black mask when he got dressed first thing in the morning.

jessemask

He continued to wear it through breakfast and then during our writing lesson which, obviously, he was super excited about.

jessemask2

And as innocent as it may seem, bringing back leftover tortillas from Chili’s has recently resulted in a slightly disturbing mask-wearing episode which included a somewhat humorously creepy video I may or may not get permission to post.

kaitmask

Legally, she’s an adult.
We’re so proud.

And I will end this post with a random picture of an old man picking his nose because he was just standing there staring at me all eerily calling me mom.

image

It’s a wild ride, people. A wild ride indeed.

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Filed under: BoysFriends & FamilyFunnyUm...

You know when it feels like everybody is panicking but nobody is actually panicking except you. Silently. Because you don’t want your kids to see you panicking?
This is a story of that.
Actually, it’s more like a brief summary and less like a story so I’m sorry if you got your hopes up.

Rabbit was adding a lean to onto a lean to because apparently one lean to is not enough when you have 9 bikes and 4 scooters and 12 skateboards and while he was up on the roof doing whatever it was with shingles, this happened.

image

At first I was cool with them sitting up there while Dad worked close by but that only lasted about 12 seconds when I suddenly realized that my children were on the freaking roof and I knew with every fiber of my being that I would be dialing 911 any minute.

Rabbit thought I was being a little ridiculous because they were sitting down but I was sure at least one of them could find a way to fall of the roof while sitting in one spot.  These are kids after all. My kids.

At one point Kait was actually dangling her feet off the edge hollering,  YOU HAVE TO TAKE A PICTURE OF ME, MOM!  And I could immediately see the headlines.  “Mother of 9 finally snaps and, as you can see from this stop motion movie provided to us by Google, carelessly takes pictures while one-by-one 7 of her children fall off the roof of their backyard workshop”. 

Then Joe came up behind her and we all assumed he was going to pretend to push her off and I almost lost the ability to keep my eyes in my head.

IMG_20140527_114044918-MOTION

He claims to have been trying to sneak in a photo bomb. Because it’s Joe, I believe him.
But still.  Way to almost give your mother a heart attack, teenagers.

The whole thing only lasted minutes as I quickly demanded that they all get down. A process that made me even more nervous.

Of course, nobody fell off the roof and I didn’t have a heart attack. However, I’m not advocating for more children to be sitting on roofs because I don’t know how much more silent panic I can take.

Also, Kait is holding up a peace sign, not giving me the bird.  Just thought I’d clarify that because it isn’t perfectly obvious in the picture.

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Filed under: Friends & FamilyUm...

Rabbit I went to our first auction on Saturday morning and now we’ve become obsessed with auctions and it’s all we talk about and I don’t like junk so I am conflicted in the worst way.

Even being the auction greenhorns that we are, we figured out the process quite fast and learned, as one man sternly announced while in a heated bidding war on a desk or some chairs or something that we weren’t interested in, that there are no friends at auctions.
I guess Rabbit and I are just too irresistible though because there was this one guy who was snatching up all the metal cabinets and he stayed his bidding so we could get one for cheap.  He was friendly.  I guess he didn’t know the no friends at auctions rule.  Maybe he was new.

We managed to be very careful and only bid on things that we knew we needed, and we kept ourselves at a very reasonable budget for each item we wanted.  Rabbit got a new computer for $20 because our old one was turning off at it’s whim and that was making for doing any schooling or other business on the computer very frustrating.  He had to get a part for it, and that was $70.  Total it was $90 for a nice, working computer that doesn’t randomly turn off.  We saved at least $800.

I had also mentioned to Rabbit that I wanted filing cabinets and a metal storage cabinet for the school room.  My plan was to find some used ones and paint them nicely but the only ones I could find on Craigslist were way too expensive and were covered in rust and stickers and just looked gross.

Here is what we ended up getting for $40 at the auction.  I had already started removing the drawers and sanding them before I took the picture.

wpid-wp-1402355085511.jpeg

And an office chair which isn’t pictured.  I didn’t want or need the office chair but we had to take it to get the filing cabinets.  It has wheels that roll and the seat goes up and down so mild chaos ensued when we brought it into the house.

I’ll be sure to post pictures of the cabinets after I get them painted unless I forget and don’t post pictures instead.  That’s been known to happen with me on occasion.

We still need bookshelves.  The 4 we were eyeing at the auction went for $240.  We were like,  Calm down, everybody, and remember where you are.  This is a university auction in an unairconditioned, aluminum building, people, not Williams-Sonoma.  But apparently the bookshelf guy didn’t hear us because he went on to spend another $200 on more bookshelves later in the auction.

So all of my books are still stacked up in piles in the library and you know that’s driving me nuts.

And did you know that unairconditioned, while not technically a word, is to be spelled as one word?  Even though air conditioned is two words.
The English language will forever perplex me.

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Filed under: FloridaSometimes we do stuff

A couple of weeks ago Rabbit had a large pile of rocks dropped off in our backyard.  He was creating a storage place for the kids’ bicycles so he could get them out of his workshop because the workshop is only for doing work things like the sawing and the hammering and the man stuff according to him.

So we had this pile of rocks outside and Lucy suddenly became very interested in what was going to happen to those rocks and followed Rabbit around the yard asking questions and giving her opinions about everything.  When Rabbit got his shovel out to start moving the rocks Lucy grabbed her little red shovel and decided to help him out and I took pictures and then Google kindly turned them into a stop motion movie for me which I am now going to share with you because this is my blog and that’s what it’s for.

dadandlushoveling

I might add that at three, she is as good at shoveling rocks as some of her older brothers and she is a pretty hard worker as long as it means she get’s ask as many random questions as she wants.  Like, Are there any whales swimming in my pool? And, Why don’t I see any elephants? And, Why does Dad get the big shovel?

If you turn around and ask the questions back to her she usually has the answer. I think she just likes to start conversations.  Either that or she’s testing human intelligence because she’s planning to someday maybe take over the world because she dearly loves to be the boss of things. Only not in a leader type of way, but more in a Gremlin-y way.

You know…  Give me all your candy and popcorn and entertain me or I’ll get growly.

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Filed under: Friends & FamilyLucyThe Rabbitthis house

Can you even handle the cuteness?

The last two weeks have been sort of nuts around here.  First we all got a somewhat diluted form of the crud.  Most of our church family got it much worse and it was so abundant that our pastor even cancelled Wednesday night church that week.  In our house it was just a mild cold and/or a fever, but it did keep me mostly house bound for a week while it went through a few kids.

Then we had a break for a few days and we did some stuff, stuff which I wrote about in previous posts.  It was a good couple of days even though I was quite tired from being a mom all those days the littles were sick.

Then we got this stomach thing.  We haven’t had a stomach thing for 4 years, people.  Again, it was very mild, but it took a full week to get through the family, picking and choosing days and people it would strike.  It was only a 2 hour bug for most of the us.  Except for Joe, who was only sick for one day, but felt off for a couple of days.

So now that we’re all better and I missed a week of blogging, I figured I’d better make it up to my couple or 3 blog readers so here is pretty much the cutest thing you’re likely to see all week.  Or ever.

 

Maggie started crawling a couple of weeks ago and decided pretty quickly that she didn’t like her knees touching the floor and now crawls on her hands and knees pretty consistently and I can’t even handle the cuteness, y’all.

[PINCHME]

Note to Kait:  Don’t really pinch me.

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Filed under: Friends & FamilyLook what I madeMaggie

A conversation with a 3 year old.

lacyintoyThe scene for this conversation is in my room.  I was getting ready to lay Maggie down in her bed for a nap and Lucy was following me around talking to me about church and swimming and how to sit like a lady.
I saw that she had some dried blood on her leg – the kind that comes from a very small scratch but looks like you’ve probably lost a pint or more of blood and may require some gauze and tape and possibly a nurse.
Also, throughout the entire conversation Lucy was never alarmed, just surprised.

Me: Lucy, you have some yuck on your leg. Here is a baby wipe so you can clean it up.

Lucy: Where?…  Oh!  That’s blooood!

Every time she said blood she said it with a murderous scowl.

Me: Yeah.  Wipe it up really well.

Lucy:  What happened? Why is there blooood?

Me: You must have gotten a little scratch without realizing it or something.

She continued to wipe quietly for a few seconds.  Then suddenly…

Lucy (incredulous): WHO BITE ME?

Me: I don’t know. Why do you think someone bit you?

Lucy: Maybe it was a shark.

Me: A what?

Lucy: A SHARK!

Me: A shark?  In our backyard? I don’t think so.

Lucy: Oh.  Well, maybe it was Sherlock. (the puppy)

Me (I’m laughing now): I don’t think the puppy bit you.

Lucy: It hurts.

Me: No it doesn’t.  You didn’t even know it was there until I told you about it.

Lucy: So it doesn’t hurt? Why doesn’t it hurt?

Lucy continued to wipe up her leg while we chatted about sharks in the backyard.  When she finished she held up the blood stained baby wipe and proclaimed it disgusting and continued to talk about who might have bit her while I tried to laugh as quietly as possible because Maggie was THISCLOSE to being asleep.

It’s yucky? It’s blooood?
Does it hurt?

Who bite me?
Probably Sherlock.  Or a shark.

I would like to say, for those of you who might be feeling deep concern, that we don’t, nor have we ever kept sharks in the yard. Or anywhere.  Gabe is the closest thing we’ve ever had to a shark and he hasn’t bitten anyone in 9 or 10 years now so I don’t know why Lucy suggested she might have been bitten by a shark.  And Sherlock is about as innocuous a puppy as they come.

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Filed under: Friends & FamilyFunnyLucy

Almond flour pancakes. Rating: No.

I mentioned in an earlier post that I was not eating wheat or dairy because Maggie seems to have some intolerance to those two things.  Rabbit has joined me in this and so we’re both watching our food intake and eating mostly single ingredient foods right now.  It’s annoying sometimes but Rabbit is already seeing the benefits after only 6 days of eating mindfully.

Which brings me to the point of this post.
Almond flour pancakes.

I made the kids waffles this morning and thought I would try my hand at clean pancakes so I found this 4 ingredient recipe for almond flour blueberry pancakes and I made them.

Almond flour, eggs, coconut milk, blueberries.

image

They actually look better than they taste.

Yes, you read that correctly.

These were incredibly un-tasty and dull and dry even with the tons of blueberries I added in.
Rabbit ate a couple because the dash of love I added masked the awful taste for him but I couldn’t eat more than a few bites so I ended up eating just blueberries for breakfast.  Again. I might just turn into a blueberry if I can’t get this under control.

It’s happened before.
Not to me.  But it’s happened.

Remember Violet Beauregarde?  The name is so telling.

violet

So the moral of this story is two fold.

1. Don’t commit to eating whole foods if all you really want is a waffle
And
2. Don’t eat too many blueberries unless you want some Oompa Loompas to roll you around a factory and sing about how famous you’re going to be now that you are big and blue.

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Filed under: I tried to do a projectLook what I maderecipesUm...

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