Okay. I’ll admit they look a little silly.  And, yes, a few kids have laughed while pointing to my “frog feet”.  Yes, they get a lot of stares.

But, my daughter’s orthodontist actually looked them up on his iPhone right then and there in the middle of her braces appointment to bookmark the site so he could buy a pair later. I’d already paid him in full so I doubt he was just being agreealbe.  He’s a professional doctor person and he loved them.  That’s got to mean something.

So just hear me out.  K?

I’ve had trouble with my right foot for about a year and half now.  I injured it jogging, then stepping into the garage, then again doing who knows what.

Doing research on proper walking, and building muscle in your feet to combat foot and ankle issues, I ran across an article on the benefits of going barefoot, even running barefoot.  That sparked my curiosity and looking further into it led me to these Vibram FiveFinger athletic shoes.

Anybody who knows me might already have guessed that I’d want these shoes simply because they are unusual.  And you guessed right!

My oh-so-awesome husband surprised me with them and, although I haven’t worn them running, I’ve worn them regularly for about 5 months now and definitely think they’re helping.  I have high arches and regular shoes force me to walk in a way that is unhealthy for my particular foot shape.  I’ve also found that wearing arch supports do more harm that good in the long run by failing to help my feet build the muscle needed to promote their health.  The vibrams act more like socks so my feet are forced to take on a more natural walking motion. I’m rebuilding muscle I forgot I had and strengthening my feet more with every step.

This post is in no way an advertisment.  I just found something that worked for me and thought I’d pass the info along.

Excuse me if I become unclear while typing this.  I have a lot of questions bouncing around in my head right now, and they all seem to be wound loosely together – which is just making everything more tangled.

Parenting is such a curious topic for me.  How we view our children comes out in what we expect from them, how we educate them, and how we treat them.  The typical Christian parent wants to raise their children to be Christian adults, that’s not the question.  The question is, what are we actually raising our children as right now?

Are we raising them as Christians?  To be Christians? To hopefully someday be Christians?
Is our child’s Christianity an assumption, an expectation, or just a hope?

Are we raising our children as if Christianity is an option, just praying they’ll stay on the right side of the fence?

After an eye opening conversation with some good friends of our ours a few weeks ago I really got to thinking.  How are my husband and I raising our children here in this house?

The answer was easy after a little thought.  We’re raising our children as though Christian is who they are.  Not what they will be, or what we hope they will be.

I’ve never even thought of saying, “Mommy and Daddy are Christians and someday you will be too!” 
What we might say would sound more like, “Yes, we’re a Christian family.  And that means we….”

But this new line of thinking has brought to the forefront the question of Baptism.

What is Baptism?  Why Baptise?  When to Baptise?

When God came to Abraham he told him to not only circumcise himself, but all boys 8 days or older, and everybody in his household.  It was a covenant between God and His people. Genesis 17:10-14

Unless the 8 day old babies in Abraham’s house were much further advanced than our 8 days old babies are now, which is a ridiculous thought, this meant that babies, through no choice of their own, were to be circumcised in this bloody ritual as a sign of membership in the covenant community.

Now that Baptism is the sign of membership in the covenant community (also a bloody ritual of sorts, I might add), I’m curious to what changed the ‘when’ of it all.

And if we’re raising our children as today Christians, as though they have been elected already, not maybe-someday Christians, as though they might someday be elected, how does that fit in with our current credo-baptism practices?

And if I’m wrong does that mean a person isn’t elected until they choose to be elected?  And if that’s case, how can they really be elected?  Isn’t the idea of choosing to be elected a contradiction?

Sometimes somebody says something to you.  It could be just a couple of sentences, but it totally changes the way you’ve been thinking. 
This whole Baptism thing has created new questions for me, but has actually cleared up a number of other questions I’ve had about election and God’s sovereignty.

It’s given me something new to ponder.  And that’s always good.

Literally.

The kids call him Spike and he’s a Katydid who found his way into our home sometime on Sunday.

We first saw him on the ceiling.  I was gonna tell Joe to get him and take him outside but our ceilings are high and it was late in the evening.  He’s not scary looking or anything so I just let him be.

The next day we saw him again around breakfast time.  The boys were fascinated with him, all hovering around him to get a good look.  I figured I’d let them look for a while and then have him banished to the out of doors.

That didn’t happen either.

He ended up on my plant.  My indoor plant.

I noticed that he was missing one of his long back legs and started to feel sorry for him.  I couldn’t very well banish him to the harsh outside where all sorts of predators are waiting for a crippled bug such as him.  So we’ve let him stay.
Then, last night I couldn’t find him and I actually started to worry about him a little.

What’s with me?

This morning Joe found him and stuck him back on my plant. I don’t know how long Spike will be with us, but he has added a small amount of interest to our week.

After some praise from her aunt, my daughter recently described herself as “just a normal 15 year old kid who likes to help out”.
And I was reminded that she’s not just a kid.  She’s a young adult. And people are surprised to see her kind of grown-up behavior in a 15 year old – male or female.

Some things, ideas, are occurring to me lately.

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.  1 Corinthians 13:11

A couple of years ago we started treating Kait more and more like an adult.  I’m not sure what prompted us to do this, a leading from The Spirit or something.  Over time we gave her more adult-like responsibility, started expecting more adult-like actions, and gave her more adult-like privileges.  At 13 she was no longer a child.  And though silliness and childlike antics are a fun part of our family, it was time for her to pack up any childish ways and toss ‘em.

It’s becoming quite clear to me that this is what is wrong with the majority of our youth these days.  They hit a certain age, have all the physical and mental abilities of an adult, but none of the responsibility or expectations.  They are no longer a child, but not yet an adult.  They are just there. 

Think about this.
In the typical public high school you can’t use the restroom without permission from a teacher, and sometimes an explanation of what you might need to do in there.  Oh, and a pass so everybody in the hall knows you’re allowed to go potty by yourself.
These kids are old enough to be an adult, and we often rant and rave because they continue to act so childish; but if they dare expect to be treated with the dignity of an adult they’re likely to be faced with some form of punishment.  In public schools that means detention, suspension, or in severe cases, expulsion.

A male of 17 should not only be expected to act like a man, he should also be given appropriate manly privileges.  Like getting up to go to the restroom without begging permission. 

I understand why changes like this could be difficult to implement in the public school system.  It’s just not gonna happen.  So, the system will continue to work to produce perpetual children; whiny, needy grown girls with no sense of true womanhood, who go through relationship after relationship after relationship in search of something they’ll never find in a grown boy; and lazy, dependant, demanding grown boys who expect nothing of themselves, have a warped view of pride and manhood, and desire no responsibility at all.

Even the most attentive parents have trouble combating these things in the few hours a day they have with their public schooled kids.

But we’re not completely without help.  There are other options, though they aren’t always the easiest choices.  But the narrow gate, the one that leads to life, isn’t supposed to be easy.

Enter by the narrow gate.  For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.  Matthew 7:13-14

Whatever it is that you chose, remember this.
There is no middle child-age where our kids quite growing and learning.  What is it you want your children being taught?

Michelle Duggar

For a long time I’ve noticed how women with a lot of children look much younger than their age.  I thought that maybe having a lot of young children kept them busy, or outside more, or less stressed than if they had a full time job. 

I didn’t really know.

But I just learned something interesting.  The average pregnant woman will produce a combination of estrogen and progesterone that work together to keep her youthful looking.  It’s the estrogen that is the fountain of youth hormone.  The progesterone just keeps the estrogen in check.

Don’t confuse this with the synthetic estrogen that your body can’t process as efficiently.  Although synthetic estrogen can help you feel younger when you take it, in time it can also destroy your liver and increase your chances of cancer, both which can cause you to age very fast.

Other ways having lots of babies can help keep you young -

-A pregnant woman is less likely to smoke and drink.  Both have strong aging properties.
-A pregnant woman typically drinks more fluids.
-A pregnant woman rests more.
-A pregnant woman tends to stay away from prescription and non-prescription drugs.
-A pregnant woman often craves pickles.  Vinegar is a natural anti-aging food.

Michelle Duggar is in her mid-40’s and hasn’t a gray hair as far as I can tell. That’s quite interesting.

I started a money saving blog a few years ago.  Mostly, I wanted to chronical my families adventure into saving money and de-stuffing our lives.  It turned into something pretty good sized, morphed, changed names, got bigger, then shrank to almost nothing again.

In the last two years the online world has become filled with blogs like If You Give a Mom a Coupon.  Deal blogs are so plentiful and the sale/coupon matchups have all become pretty close to carbon copies of each other.  My blog wasn’t really necessary anymore.  What I was posting could easily be found on blogs where multiple people work to create something huge.  I just haven’t had the time or energy to keep up. 

However, I’m pretty good at this whole frugal thing.  I feel like I have something to offer and I want to share what I know.  So, I’m getting back in the game, but I’m going to try something a little different.  I’m not sure how it’s all going to work but I am ready to give it one last try.

If you have anything specific that you’d like to see me write about on If You Give a Mom a Coupon please let me know.  I’m more than happy to submit guest posts so let me know if you have something for me to post.

Our personal chef My delightful 15 year old daughter is out of town for the week and my boys are beside themselves with grief.

“What are we going to eat for breakfast?!?!?!”

So what did they do after complaining of hunger?  Did they scour the kitchen for good breakfast fixins?  No.  They went out back and played.

But the little boys weren’t so keen on not eating so after pestering their older brothers for breakfast my 12 year old, Joe, came to me one more time.
“We don’t have enough peanut butter for everybody to have a sandwich.  And there isn’t enough milk for cereal.  Can we have dry cereal?” 
I told him that I was sure he could come up with something better than dry cereal, and after I listed off a few ingredients I knew we had, he left the room.
Then, not 5 minutes later I smelled something.

And it didn’t smell bad.

My very non-domestic son was creating a breakfast for all of us.

Breakfast Ala Joe

Not only did he successfully create for us some sausage and egg burritos, but he did it without any help from me (aside from checking to make sure the sausage was cooked all the way).  He also informed me that this was the first time he’d ever cracked an egg, and he appeared quite proud of his accomplishments.  

The past few weeks of putting them hard at work in the yard, expecting them to do harder things is really teaching them something.  A month ago Joe might have just stood there staring at the ingredients, lacking the confidence to just start cooking.  Today he stood confidently in front of that pan, knowing he could do something he’d never done before. 

Like crack an egg.

Ryan spent more money than I would have liked him to and bought me one of those new Lysol hands free soap dispenser gadgets. 

I’m pretty frugal and hand soap is something I usually get for free or very cheap.  This new Lysol stuff is $6 for the initial setup and $3 for a refill.   So, I thought that trying the dispenser he bought me would be fun, but there was no way was I going to pay for those refills.

[Ahem]

On Friday I purchased two more.

So, now we have one in the kitchen and one in each bathroom. I heart these things. 

And yes, I did purchase my first refill the other day at $3.49. And I’m very, very okay with that.

Our normal soap dispensers worked just fine but always had this thick, sticky residue in the pump that was impossible to clean out.  Not only that, but the dispensers were always covered with dirt, peanut butter, jelly, syrup, and whatever else the kids had on their hands when they went to wash them.  I also found them knocked over often, liquid hand soap dribbling out onto the counter.

These new contraptions, being hands-free,  means they stay incredibly clean.  I also found that we go through significantly less soap even though my kids think the thing is cool and use it more often.  I wonder why that is.

Some things are worth the extra money.

Like I mentioned, I’m potty training my 19 month old; and although he hasn’t gotten to the point of telling us he has to go, he will hold it until we take him.   The key to no accidents is taking him frequently enough.  This works for me and is way easier and cheaper than changing diapers.

I did a little Googling for tips on teaching a little guy how to tell you he has to go potty.  I didn’t get any information on that, however, my search did come up with a ton of potty training resources, Q&A, and parent comments.  While I didn’t find many under 2 potty training parents, I saw a lot of 3 and 4 year old’s parents asking questions, at their wits end, afraid maybe their child will end up wearing diapers to college.

And I made a startling discovery.
Potty training is largely a lesson in obeying mama’s voice.

I would estimate, based on the stories and comments I read this morning, that about 5% of those toddlers are really just having trouble figuring the whole potty training thing out. 
15% have sidetracked mamas who just don’t remember to take the trainee consistently (I fall into this category).
But a whopping majority, about 80% of the problems mama’s have with potty training their children stem from underlying disciplinary issues. 
“My child just doesn’t want to sit on the potty, and I don’t want to make her”.
“My 3 year old screams when I take her close to the potty”.
“My child takes his diaper off and pees in the corner when he has to go potty”.
“I tried to talk to my 4 year old about the hygienic importance of going in the toilet but he still refuses to go”.
“My child won’t have an accident at preschool but won’t use the potty when we’re at home”.

If a child is refusing to do anything his mother tells him, it is flat out a disciplinary issue. 
And let me be clear.  Refusing to obey is very different from not understanding what you’re being told.  My 19 month old will pee, or at least try to pee, on command – we’ve already passed the ‘learning how to release your pee’ stage. And passed obedience training has already taught him to obey my voice without complaint.  However, he won’t tell me he has to go because he doesn’t understand that process yet.

Not too many generations ago the average child was completely potty trained before the age of 2 1/2.  Now, it unusual to have a child out of diapers before that age.  While diaper companies and psycobabblists do harbour some of the blame for the increase in diaper clad 3 year olds; I still hold to my assessment, wholly based on comments from other mothers, that most children just need proper discipline.

They need to learn to obey mama’s voice.

If I say, “Jesse, it’s time to go potty; come on.”, I fully expect him to head with me cheerfully to the bathroom.  If he fusses, whines, or shows me any defiance at all that is disobedience.

What moms are saying just startled me, is all.  I wonder how much easier it would be for the child if mama was consistent, said what she meant, and followed through with what she said 100% of the time (even 90% will do for most children, but 100% should be our goal).

Instead we confuse them.  We tell them to mind or [insert punishment here] but then do nothing about it when they disobey.  Then, the next day we tell them to mind and then punish them when they don’t obey us. 
How will they ever trust us when we aren’t trustworthy?  How will they ever discern what rules have to be followed and what rules don’t?

And our err in this area is spilling over into every aspect of our children’s lives; into things as fundamental as learning proper toilet practices.

Ladies – Motherhood isn’t this fly by the seat of our pants, do whatever we feel like in the moment operation.

I’m just sayin’.

Kait made this collage of us all working on the yard yesterday. Jesse slept through most of it but the rest of us worked for hours to get more work done. It’s looking better everyday, though quite a bit of the work yesterday didn’t produce that much visual result, only sore legs and sleepy eyes.  Mine mostly.

Click here to see it full size.

I can’t tell you how pleased I am when I find ways to save money on big, potentially spendy projects.  First, we discovered that the ground was quite soft and didn’t need any special covering in the picnic area to create a comfortable spot.  I just planned to buy a border of some sort and section off that area to make it look more ‘on purpose’.

But, while working in the yard yesterday I started to get an idea.  We have a big pile of twigs and branches in the back of the yard.  I though “pioneer woman!” and got to work creating a twig border.  I figured it would be free and wouldn’t take all that long.

But I didn’t figure it to be sorta ugly.

So I dismantled it and thought some more about how I could use what I have to border the area.  Turns out the shed came with some fence posts and there were some good size logs at the bottom of the twig pile.  We were able to frame the area perfectly!  And we even created a toddler play area on the side.  It looks very campground-ish and I like it a lot.

So far we’ve saved more than $300 just using what we already had laying around.

Free makes me so happy!