I have so much to tell you, people, and I’m so irritated with myself that I have failed to blog for the last week or two. Halloween happened and that was pretty much pandemonium mixed with high fructose corn syrup and red dye number 3.  Also, what the heck is wrong with my potted plants? They’re just dying and I have no idea why. I suppose it could be lack of water. Do potted plants get thirsty?

I have one that looks completely dead but is now growing a bell pepper. I don’t even know what’s going on there. Maybe it’s undead. Can plants be undead?

My giant peace lilly, which I named Jessica (I always name my plants after my frends) was quite happy indoors but Lucy likes to such on her blooms for some reason, and it just so happens that lilly blooms are poisonous to adorable little girls. And all other people.
So I had to move my giant peace lilly to the out of doors and while it’s not so much dying, it’s definitely unhappy with me for choosing my year and a half old daughter over her.

Marty, my ponytail palm, is doing well. That thing can be ignored for 8 months and still truck through and look deep green and beautiful, but Lucy likes to pull my other palm, Lauren, apart. And, while Lauren is not dead, she sure looks as though she’s been living in the middle of a Kindercare center for the last year.

By now you must be wondering what the heck I’m blogging about my plants for. I am wondering the same thing and I’m blaming it on the time change.

I have a picture of myself for you today. It’s me in costume.

And I’ll be your best friend if you know who I am in the picture.

If you’re looking for me I can be found at the medical clinic on base here in Mayport trying not to catch Monkey Aids or some equally disturbing virus.  I’m in the physical therapy waiting area, which also happens to be the unbelievably crowded pharmacy waiting area filled with people who got their flu shots so they wouldn’t get the flu that they got anyway.

[Some time passes while I use the little girls room]

And now I’m sitting on a bench outside because when I came out of the bathroom every single seat was taken and there were a bunch of germs try get on me.

[Fast forwarding until now]

I didn’t finish this post yesterday because it’s just who I am lately.
Sorry.

Since this post isn’t really about anything I’ll give you a bonus portrait Sam(5) drew of Jesse(3) on my tablet and then he took a screen shot and saved it in my gallery. I just got this thing yesterday, people, and my 5 year old knows better how to use it than I do.

I found the picture in my Gallery and asked Sam if he drew it and he said, Yes.  It’s Jesse using all the magic spells he has in his hands and feet.

I don’t know anything about that though.  I just work here.

My house has apparently taken it upon itself to dress all fancy-like. 

Sort of. 

It’s a clip-on-tie so that’s like saying, I’m 3. Which is actually the age of my house so I guess it fits.

They were at my front door.

I shouldn’t have been surprised to see them there as they pretty much live on my porch when they aren’t in school.  My front porch is pretty much the most happening after school program on the block.  The baby gate is there to keep them out of the house because that could get seriously out of control.  You thought it was to keep the baby in, didn’t you.

Also, I just have to say that Sam is just about the most adorable photo bomber I have ever seen.

It’s 65 degrees right now.  It should warm up to a chilly 78 this afternoon, but as of right now it’s down right cold.  I’m definitely meant to live in the sunny south I think.

I opened up all the doors and windows this morning when I got up because it felt like the right thing to do but now I’m sitting here and my hands are too cold and I just put my sweater boots on to help thaw out my toes.  I still have all the windows up and the doors propped open because I like the sound of Saturdays in the neighborhood.  You know, the sound of nobody outside because they’re all inside playing video games?
When I was a kid…

Can I rant here for a moment?

<rant>
Where the heck are all the children?  Not my children, the neighborhood children.  I know where my children are.  They are in the garage playing video games on the projector.
Kidding.
Kind of.
</rant>

And for your blurry picture of the day, I give you this 7 year old in his almost finished cyberman helmet/head thing that I made from cardboard and duct tape. Lots of duct tape.  LOTS.   I took this picture back when the days were a warmer 85.  Okay, so that was yesterday but it feels like it was so long ago.

YOU MUST BE DELETED

1 million fantastic points if you know what a cyberman is.

I don’t really have much to blog about except that I cleaned my room and while I cleaned I opened up my windows, which have stickers on them that help our military housing people strictly enforce the no-unlocked-or-open-upstairs-windows-ever rule.  I’m like an unmanageable teenager, yall.

I can’t think of much else that’s happened so I’ll just tell you what Sam said.

At the museum last week, Sam, my 5 year old, picked out one of those dinosaur eggs things that you put in water and it hatches and then you have a little dinosaur.  He was so excited that his egg would hatch and he would finally have a pet dinosaur, which apparently is all he’s ever wanted.

He was telling me all about it and I asked him what he was going to name it.  He answered, I’m naming him Brick.  I asked, Brick? Not Fido, or Rover, or spot?  He said, No.  His name will be Brick.

Two days later I found his hatched dino sitting on the coffee table and I took it to him and we had the following conversation.

Me: Sam, you left Brick on the table. Pets are not allowed on the table.

Sam: That’s not Brick.

Me: Isn’t this your dinosaur?

Sam: Yes.

Me: You told me his name is Brick.

Sam: Yeah, I did, but he’s not Brick, he’s Rubber.

Then a couple days later Sam was calling him Brick and I asked, I thought you said he was rubber now.  Sam replied, as if I were missing something completely obvious, Yes, he’s rubber, but he is Brick.

The end.

P.S. Sam (5) and Jesse (3) stopped whining and became awesome the instant I said smile.

Somewhere in the craziness that has been my last couple of weeks I totally forgot that I had a giveaway 3 weeks ago and I never chose a winner. I guess I’m failing at this blogging thing lately but it won’t last forever. I promise.

So, without further ado, the winner of the $25 gift card to Publix is…

HEATHER N, whose kids ring strangers’ doorbells randomly and ask they’ve seen any rabbits, or if you have some wound care.  You should really read her blog.

Heather, I’ll be emailing you.

And in other news, I’m going to try not to not blog.  Our router broke, which means our only computer is the one in the living room and we are all sharing it.  Since just about all of Joe’s schooling is done on the computer, and most of our shopping, and Kait’s political stuff and presidential debate watching, that leaves only so much time for me to jump on here.  And usually, if nobody is using the computer it’s because we’re outside or cleaning or eating.

However, I’m going to make more of an effort to update the web-world on our goings-ons so watch out everybody because I’m back.  Maybe.  I’m not making any promises. Except for the one in the first paragraph.  And I didn’t really mean that one so it doesn’t count.

I’ll leave you with these pictures of my year and a half old baby girl who is FREAKING POTTY TRAINED, PEOPLE.

Lucy’s got a gun.
(It’s just a toy so you can stop flipping out now.)

Pigtails and a pistol.