Protesting the system
I want to say in advance that I’m not so much complaining here as I am expressing my disappointment at the current state of the medical community in our country.
I’m 20+ weeks pregnant.
My doctor, the practice that came highly recommended as one of the most natural OBs in the area, just kicked me out of their practice because I wanted to delay a specific, very personal part of my physical, and just combine it with another personal exam they will want to complete around 37 weeks. This particular exam is a procedure I believe is widely over performed anyway.
So they said in so many words (and I’m paraphrasing here), “We can’t know you if we can’t complete this exam right now. You have two options. Have it done within the week, or don’t come back.”
That wasn’t the extent of our conversation, which lasted around 20 minutes or so.
I’m just going to say something here. This was the third doctor in the last 2 years who has bold faced lied to me to try to get me to take a medicine or have a test done. Is the general population really so gullible? I just wonder how these docs get away with it.
Grrr.
Our society views pregnancy and child birth in a very negative light. As soon as you find out you’re pregnant you need test after test after test. This particular doctor made comments that led me believe that she doesn’t think the average woman is capable of carrying a baby to term successfully without tests and exams done.
I made the comment that the world has managed to populate itself just fine, and stay fairly healthy too, without the progressive medicine we have today.
She actually disagreed with me.
Then how did we all get here, I wonder?
I don’t want to knock her important job, I do believe that doctors are a gift, and I completely believe she has the right to refuse service to anybody for any reason (a little libertarian in me, I guess). However, I am dismayed at the attitude she showed towards women and pregnancy. All of her technical knowledge has misshapen her view towards things.
And the fact that she was willing to lie to get me to do what she wanted…
Well that’s just unethical and immoral. I can’t have an untrustworthy doctor deliver my baby.
So, now I’m at 20 weeks pregnant without a doctor. I’m making contact with other OBs, but haven’t had any of my messages returned.
The only midwives in this area who don’t practice directly under a doctor are not covered by Tricare. That’s a bummer - Fruitful Vine is a Christian midwifery group with one of my most cherished Bible verses right on their front page. Wish we had planned our finances out better.
I’m frustrated. A little stressed.
And I’m really tired.
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I am so sorry to hear this. I can imagine how frustrating this is for you. I looked at the fruitful vine page. What are their fees? Maybe they would be willing to work with you. It couldn’t hurt to call them.
I believe they charge around $3500, and from what I’ve read it has to be paid in full by the time you deliver. We simply couldn’t afford that.
Stinkin’ bad past financial decisions.
I emailed them anyway, left my name, phone number, and address, along with a detailed note about our situation. Praying it’s in God’s will to move something here.
$3500 is a lot of money, but is actually not a lot for a birth. i think my midwife charges around $7000. i will also pray for God to open a door for you in this. maybe somehow they will be able to accept tricare. i don’t know what all goes into that.
Tricare is fairly new at covering midwives, however they will only cover CNMs. There are no independent CNMs in Jacksonville.
It totally stinks.
The midwife our family and extended family uses takes payments. Maybe you could arrange something? We have run into same problems with our pregnancies. They will fight me on the crazy back to back appointments until John steps in with the same medical lingo. and tells them the truth using their tactics. I was able to with one Dr. (when we had to switch because of a move) nod and smile then when I made the appointment with the front desk ….I made it for a whole month later than the Dr. suggested. They stomped and said a few things but I just shrugged and said I thought we might be out of town. Which, we might be.
$3500 is a lot of payments to make – considering that we’re pretty much working on a cash only basis right now.
Fruitful Vine does have a terrific birthing center, and homebirth is an option with them, too, and it would be totally worth it for me, but I’m just not sure Ryan is inclined to pay out that much money for something that’s supposed to be free for us.
Usually I have to fight, but I’ve never been outright kicked out.
It is hard, this whole moving around thing, so I know what you’re talking about. I never know what to expect and just when I find a good, trustworthy doctor, I have to go and search out a new one.
But now I’m just complaining, which I told myself I wouldn’t do. Not much production going on when I complain.
You could pay for our plane tickets and John and I could come deliver. John once likened human birth as to being quite similar as a cow.
I wanted to slap him but I was in the middle of a contraction. lol!
Ha ha! Ryan likened it to pigs once- but that was before he actually saw a birth. Then he said, “Oh. That was not the same thing”.
They raised pigs when he was a kid, so I guess he thought he had a good idea about things.
Oh, and somebody really should be slapped for John’s cow comment. I’ll punch Ryan when he gets home.
You know I hear you. I HEAR you! I am SO in the same situation with the medical scenario. I am praying for direction for the both of us, and peace too.
Thank you! You’re such a good BFTKC. Prayer is such a peace bringer (if that makes any sense).
There are definitely things to let slide but sometimes we just have to stand up for what we believe because we’re paving the way for the next generation. If we lay down and take it we’re just going to make it that much harder for our kids.
Oh no, I’m sorry to hear about that. I hope everything gets better soon!!!!
I had two natural hospital births in SD under the care of a family practice doc – not an OB. I was able to call more of the shots (I refuse group B both times, as well as the abx “just in case” for refusing the test), and I only had one internal exam/pap during one pregnancy because I needed the pap anyway (it was due) and I refused the rest.
This time, we’re not insured. I applied for state aid, which would cover a hospital birth. But instead I’m going to pay $3000 out of pocket (that is a HUGE sacrifice for our family on one part-time pastor’s salary) to have a home birth. I prefer to have more say in how my pregnancy/birth is handled, I’m in a new area (and therefore new docs/hospitals with a between 30-50% c-section rate), and I’m just not going to risk my health and my future reproductive choices because it will come “free” this time. I feel that I was completely and totally blessed with the doc I had in SD, but my odds are up for a vaginal hospital birth in this day and age.
You’d think having a baby would be easier. Especially after 7 previous healthy, uncomplicated deliveries.
But no.
I know what you’re saying about sacrificing health for free care. I’m not willing to do it, which is why they kicked me out.
This is just all new territory for me. I’ve had seven kids and never once run into these issues, and I’ve always seen an OB doc. If I had even the slightest inclination that there would be an issue we would have set aside money for this. But we’ve never had to pay, and never had an issue, never a c-section, never a complication. Guess we just got too comfortable.
We’re working on it though. Had some promising responses from an OB group in the area who is willing to do what I want, and I also found out today that Tricare may have to pay for a CPM in Florida by law. Looking into it – getting conflicting information. Still praying that it’s God’s will that this door is open.
I hope it works out well for you, too. I also meant to add in there that, while I’m all for homebirth, it really isn’t for everyone. And where I differ from most HB advocates is that I believe the dad also has a say in it. So if your husband is dead-set against it, by all means don’t cause a rift in your marriage over it (not that I think I had to tell you that).
I do know that FL has some crazy rules in regard to birth. Praying that God makes the way clear for you!