I have always wanted a segway but the truth is I have no idea what on earth I would do with it because I’m not a mall cop. So imagine my excitement when Kait sent me a link to this completely usable, totally justifyable, arguably necessary modified segway.

HELLO.

Do I really need to elaborate on why I’m posting this as one of my must have Christmas gift ideas?

I think I would likely cry tears of astonished joy if I found a segway vacuum cleaner combo under my Christmas tree this year. Or any year. Or any time. I would only need to add a fanny pack to the front with the name GOB on it.
If I have to explain that to you then we probably shouldn’t be friends anymore.

You can’t really buy this yet but I’m sure it will be released soon. Hopefully by Christmas so somebody awesome can buy it for me.

I came across these stuffed human organs and just knew that I had to make these soft offerings the first must-have Christmas gift post in my series because who wouldn’t love getting a stuffed uterus in their stocking?

Also available
Stuffed spleen
Stuffed bladder
Stuffed pancreas
And more.

There are 11 life-like stuffed guts in all. You can totally make them into a collection.

Uncommon Goods- $18 Uncommon indeed.

P.S. I have not yet received my very own plush uterus so feel free send me one.

P.P.S. I have not been paid to write this, nor am I affiliated with Uncommon Goods. I just really want a stuffed Uterus.

It’s 65 degrees right now.  It should warm up to a chilly 78 this afternoon, but as of right now it’s down right cold.  I’m definitely meant to live in the sunny south I think.

I opened up all the doors and windows this morning when I got up because it felt like the right thing to do but now I’m sitting here and my hands are too cold and I just put my sweater boots on to help thaw out my toes.  I still have all the windows up and the doors propped open because I like the sound of Saturdays in the neighborhood.  You know, the sound of nobody outside because they’re all inside playing video games?
When I was a kid…

Can I rant here for a moment?

<rant>
Where the heck are all the children?  Not my children, the neighborhood children.  I know where my children are.  They are in the garage playing video games on the projector.
Kidding.
Kind of.
</rant>

And for your blurry picture of the day, I give you this 7 year old in his almost finished cyberman helmet/head thing that I made from cardboard and duct tape. Lots of duct tape.  LOTS.   I took this picture back when the days were a warmer 85.  Okay, so that was yesterday but it feels like it was so long ago.

YOU MUST BE DELETED

1 million fantastic points if you know what a cyberman is.

Hey thar all you foul smellin’, scurvy ridden, rum swillin’ mateys. This be t’ one and only Talk Like a Pirate Day.  I’ve been tryin’ t’ pursway our landlubbin’ officials t’ recognize this monumental day o’ t’ year as an official government holiday but they decline t’ acquiesce t’ me request, so instead o’ bein’ celebrated we’ll just take this day t’ drink and be pirates.

Have a lively day, try t’ stay out o’ trouble and go easy on the plunderin’, and maybe pull into a good port t’ find yer sea legs and t’ grab some tasty grub and a round o’ frothy beverages.

Drink up me hearties, yo ho.
Tis a pirate’s life for me.

I’ve got to be the best pirate you’ve ever seen.

I found myself on Pinterest the other night by accident after not logging in for the last couple of months. I was looking for a picture of a metal glider porch chair and one of the pictures that I clicked took me to Pinterest so I pinned it and then saw another picture of this little stuff bag so I clicked the link to see how hard it was to make and there was another link to an ABC rocks tutorial so I clicked that link and loved what I saw and decided I was going to get some rocks and some paint and make some for Jesse, who is 3 and has already taken quite a bit of interest in letters.

And that is exactly what I did.

Kait and I went to The Dollar Tree this morning and I found these bags of large rocks for, you guessed it, a dollar. I picked up three bags because I knew I would need the rocks I painted to be on the flat side.

Then I walked next door to Joann Fabrics and picked up some Mod Podge and some different colored paints and paint brushes. All in all the project cost me about $20. It would have been much less if I didn’t need to buy Mod Podge because that stuff is like $10, but I need the Mod Podge for a bunch of other projects anyway so it’s a win.

I gathered up 37 of the flattest rocks in the bunch and painted the alphabet and numbers 0 to 10, in 5 different colors. I painted mine free hand while Jesse sat and watched excitedly the entire time, asking me over and over again if this was a present for him.

I let them dry for a bit and then went over the letters one more time and let them dry for an hour. Then I Mod Podged over the paint to seal it and make the top of the rock nice and shiny.

They turned out so perfect and Jesse has already gotten busy stacking them and lining them up.  There is something about little boys and rocks.  Although I have a feeling Lucy is going to enjoy them too when she gets past her eat everything that isn’t edible stage and I can let her within 6 yards of a small object.

And because I’m pretty much the coolest mom ever, I gave my 9, 7, 5, and 3 year old guys the left over paint I had poured onto a paper plate, and the rest of the rocks and sent them outside to paint rocks. They thought this was an amazing idea and painted away until it started to rain.

Sam worked some painting magic and managed to sell one of his rocks to Joe(14) for $.50.

Does anybody else want to buy a rock? I’ll paint you up a nice one. I’ll even put a smily face on it for you. Or a number. I’m good at painting the number 5.

Anybody?
Anybody?

I have a few things to post now. I’ll be updating over the next few days. The first thing I’m going to tell you all about was this simple little pizza party I threw for my kids and their friends in our garage on Friday night. It was just pizza and breadsticks. No planned activities, no prizes. Yet, as it turned out, it was pretty much the best party ever.

We had 18 kids chowing down in our garage. They ate and laughed. Oh did they laugh. I can’t even tell you what they were laughing about because everybody was talking at once and they still all managed to hear whatever everybody else was saying.

Some of the neighborhood kids brought over brownies and soda and the kids pretty much devoured everything.

After they’d had enough pizza and soda and sweets they took themselves out to the driveway to play four square and kickball and tag. It was noisy and sounded like a baseball game in the ninth inning.

I didn’t get any pictures of the games going on because I forgot. Also, I take pretty cruddy pictures when everybody is being still. When they’re all moving around my one photo taking skill really gets out of hand.

Check back because I have some other posts ready to go up. I’m spacing them out over the next few days to try to get myself back into the regular writing groove because somthing’s got to give.

Kait and I were coming home from the grocery store last week and saw a large bolt balanced upside down on the top of our mailbox.  We both commented on what that could be all about, then promptly forgot about it once we had pulled into the driveway.

Later that night one of my sons asked me if he and his brother could rig up our mailbox for the purposes of trying to get it struck by lightening.

I said no because that would be ridiculous. Also, I don’t want my mailbox struck by lightening.  What if my Publisher’s Clearning House 25 milion dollar winner’s notification that I’m expecting any day now was in there?

Turns out the innocent bolt was to be a homemade lightening rod.

Only my kids…

I’ve been trying to come up with something funny that my kids have done recently for my grandmother, as she requested a funny story. Hi Grandmom.
And while I’m sure they’ve done at least a few hilarious things in the past month, I am drawing a blank.  I have no idea what to say.

Tapping out funny tidbits about my kids has always come easy to me and now that it’s not I kind of feel like my brain is a little bit broken.

I’m sure it’ll come back, probably in a wave and I’ll write 10 posts in 2 days and somebody will tell me to shut up for sure, but for now I’m in a slump and there is only one thing I can think of that may or may not be even remotely funny.

Lucy throws shoes in the trash.

Many months ago Rabbit and I were invited to a get together at his boss’ house.  I’d already heard that the boss and his wife had an absolutely beautiful home so I was not surprised to see a very attractive exterior as we pulled along side their driveway.  However, as nice a place as it was, it wasn’t the house itself that stuck so firmly in my mind, it was the paver driveway that I remember so clearly. It was beautiful and has made a lasting impression on me.

In the next few years Rabbit and I will likely be in the beginning stages of either building or remodeling our dream home, and although a gorgeous parking area is not quite at the top of my dream list, I would certainly be pleased to have a brick-like paved driveway like the one I remember from Rabbit’s boss’ lovely home close to a year ago.

InstallitDirect driveway pavers are exactly what I’m talking about here. Rustic and beautiful, classic yet modern, InstallitDirect driveway pavers would be a simple way to create and complete an attractive and unforgettable exterior to any new or remodeled home. Whether you’re sprucing up an old look, or creating a new one, InstallitDirect driveway pavers may be a very reasonable driveway solution.

Disclosure: Even though this is not a real post, all opinions are my own. Just so you know.

I haven’t re-found my blogging groove yet since Rabbit shipped off. It’s disturbing me because usually when I’m stressed or anxious or something, blogging is my release.  Whatever because I just need to write something, anything, to get this train back in gear.

I figured I’d start by writing how my week has gone so far and maybe something will come out of it that will make this fake blog post a real blog post.

Monday: I missed Rabbit.

Tuesday: I missed Rabbit.

Wednesday: I missed Rabbit.

Thursday: Took my kids to a playground with my friend, Brandy, and there was this young dad there playing with his 2 year old daughter and he was wearing a tank top that said, “Yes, I’m staring at your titties.”  It was the highlight of my week. Some people wear their redneck-ness so proudly.
Also, I missed Rabbit.

Friday (today for those of you who forgot your days of the week): I missed Rabbit.

As you can see, missing Rabbit is a common occurrence for me lately.

To be honest, we did more this week than just miss Rabbit and read a strangers sexually harassing t-shirt. 

On Monday I drove my in-laws to the airport after a nice, relaxing 5 day visit.  It was a good visit, despite the negative in-law connotations.  I was so pleased to have them stay with us.

And on Tuesday my friend, Brandy, came over with her 4 kids and we hung out talking about nothing and catching up on the last 6 months since we last got together.

Wednesday we did nothing. I think I might have swept the floor.

Thursday we did kickball with Brandy’s family and learned what not to wear to the playground.

Right now some of my kids are walking down to see a movie, Mirror Mirror, at the beach, just a half mile away. We have great Friday night movies at the beach here throughout the summer. It’s really pretty cool.

And that’s it so far.

I know and I’m sorry.