So I’ve been trying to find a way to write about the night the police came to my house because we were having a block party but everything I try to write doesn’t come out as funny as it was when it happened and what I am going to end up giving you isn’t going to do the event any justice but I told you I would write about it so here.

Most Friday nights somebody in our neighborhood hosts a get together. It’s called Flamingo Friday. It starts at 5:30 and has a few rules that nobody really follows much. Like everybody has to bring enough food to feed their family, and they have to supply their own drinks.  And the festivities end sharply at 8 pm.

We offered to host it 4 Fridays ago because I don’t know why, it just sounded good, but I learned that nobody really brings their own drinks and only half of everybody brings their own food.  I also learned that Rabbit and I seriously know how to throw a party, people. You should have been there.

Early in the evening this conversation happened.

Jesse (my 3 year old, talking to my neighbor, Amy): The police are going to come.

2 minutes later…

Jesse: The police are going to come.

Again…

Jesse: The police are going to come.

Amy: Jesse is pretty sure the cops are going to show up.

Me: Yeah. I wonder what that’s all about.

So at around 9, guess what happened.

Wrong. Fooled you.
The cops didn’t show up.
Yet. 

What did happen was, just as I thought the party was winding down, one of the teenage kids across the street brought over a karaoke machine. The husbands hooked it up to our projector in the garage and began what can only be described as something that has absolutely no description. It was loud and I commented that if it wasn’t for pretty much the entire block being at my house right now I’d be sure somebody would call the cops on us for being noisy.

As the singing and commotion grew louder and louder a few other people discussed how funny it would be if Jesse’s prediction came true and the cops did end up busting up our noisy party.

And not 2 minutes later, at around 11 pm…

I was video taping when it happened and I’m sort of sad that the video didn’t turn out very good because all the sudden there were 3 cop cars screeching to a halt in front of my house.

Here are some of the things I heard coming from my crowded garage that was packed with at least 16 adult-sized people, half of them active-duty Naval officers.

A neighbor: Bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you…

Another neighbor: JESSE WAS RIGHT! How did he know?

Another neighbor:  They’re just mad they weren’t invited.

Military cop: Who is the homeowner here?

Neighbor from the back of the crowd: UHHH… BALFOUR BEATTY.  Their office is just outside of housing but I’m pretty sure they’re closed right now.

(Balfour Beatty is the company that owns and manages military housing)

Rabbit was chuckling: I live here.

Military cop (obviously his pants were too tight because he had no sense of humor): We’ve had a complaint about the noise. I’ll need to see your ID.

Rabbit: Sure.

And that was it. There was not another word spoken as the officer looked carefully and deliberately at my husband’s military ID. Nothing. Not a warning to quiet down, not a suggestion to take it indoors, not a request for an invitation, no heartfelt goodbye…
Nothing. 
The whole thing was weird and didn’t really make much sense at all.

Of course, everybody agreed that maybe we should tone it down a little so they made a conscious effort to keep it quiet after that.  For about 10 minutes.

And the karaoke continued until 12:15, when I had to kick everybody out because Rabbit had to work for a few hours in the morning.

And the party-killing cops never came back and the karaoke singers sang happily every after.

The end.

I was jolted awake about an hour ago by an odd dream because I watched a full episode of Glee last night for the first time ever and now I’m mostly very sorry but they sang Don’t Stop Believing so it wasn’t a complete waste of my time.

While I lay there wondering why I have such strange dreams I realized that there was some seriously heavy windage going on outside my window. I went over and took a peek and was surprised to see a very determined storm pummeling down on us.  I didn’t get any warnings, as I usually do on my phone, so I took a quick peek on the internet to see what this thing was all about and I didn’t even know we were supposed to be having a tropical storm tonight, people.

They named her Debby and I can imagine how this decision probably came about.

Tropical Storm namer guy (speaking to himself):  She seems mysterious, so I’ll call her Mystery. Come to think of it, she also seems graceful and majestic. Maybe I should call her Grace, or Majesty, or Debby.

Yes. Debby.

Keeping me informed about the weather is Rabbit’s job and he’s not here. [insert sad face here]
I guess I just figured the weather would be on pause while he was gone.

So I decided to look further into the forecast because I didn’t remember seeing anything about a tropical storm when I looked up the weekend outlook and I found that Tropical Storm Debby isn’t even scheduled to grace us until Wednesday and Thursday. Even now, while she’s right here with us being the life of the party and all, Wunderground still has her arrival slated for the end of the week.

See:

Also, I decided to peek at the Wundermap because it just didn’t seem right to me that we have a hurricane advisory for tonight for a tropical storm that isn’t suppose to hit us until Wednesday.

Wundermap tells it all.

Apparently Debby’s eye is not indicative to where the wind and rain are so it’s really got the weather peoples’ heads on backwards.   It would appear that Debby’s eye, which, it would seem, has very little rain around it, isn’t suppose to arrive until mid week.

So now I’m sitting here awake because this is the part of my life where I pretty much no longer sleep at night apparently. We have tornado watches for like the next 6 hours, too, so there’s also that.

I went out on the front porch at 2:30am and fought the sideways rain so I could stack our plastic Adirondack chairs so they wouldn’t blow off the porch because it’s happened before where they ended up in somebody else’s garden, and I noticed while I was stacking the chairs that the trashcan I told my boys to take down to the road after dinner had blown over and I did not go stand it back up because that’s my husband’s job [insert sad face again] and hello there’s a tropical storm named Debby out there.

And it seems the winds have maybe calmed a little bit and I’m feeling a bit sleepy again. Maybe I’ll actually get some sleep for once. That would be a nice change.

Every so often something very funny will happen around here. Something so funny to me that it absolutely must be blogged about but then somebody threatens to stab me repeatedly while I sleep should I write about what transpired.  This isn’t common as I live in a house full of shameless people, but it does occur on occasion that one of my children gets embarrassed.

And because I always get my children’s permission before I post a story about them that may make them uncomfortable, some things that should be remembered forever never end up memorialized in the pages of this here blog.
There is one child that is an absolute exception to this rule. Gabe. I never have to ask Gabe for permission to embarrass him because he loves it when I post about him, no matter the subject.

So what I’m going to do here is write out the conversation that took place, but not tell you who the conversation was with because I try to be a sensitive and loving mother like that and I want to see my grandchildren someday. It’s nice to live in a house that has enough people to make this randomness work.
But you can probably assume this wasn’t Gabe.

So we were on our way to the store in the giant white van that gets mistaken as a duty van on a regular basis. Seriously, Wednesday a guy here on base tried to wave me down for a ride.

So, on with the conversation…

Me: Why are you eating a lollipop while we’re driving? We could crash and you could choke on it and die.

Child who wouldn’t give me permission to use their name so we’re just calling them Pat: (with a tone of absurdity) Mom, If we got in an accident I would be more worried about dying from injuries, not from a lollipop.

Me: You could choke on that lollipop in a fender bender that left no mark on the car at all. Somebody could just bump us and you could choke to death. Imagine what that news story would sound like. I would look like a very bad mother.

Pat: That’s ridiculous because you would see me choking and you would just pull it out and I would say thanks and I’d be just fine.

Me: You’re not thinking this through. It could be lodged way down in your throat and I might not be able to reach it. What if I pull on it and it doesn’t come out? What if I panic and forget what to do?

Pat: MOM! You worry too much. Besides, you’ve seen House. If you can’t get it out you can just give me a vasectomy.

Me:…

Pat:…

Me:…

Pat: NO! NO!  WAIT!  OH MY GOODNESS THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!

Me: Did you mean to say Tracheotomy?

Pat: (shaking head) Oh no. You are NOT blogging this.

Me: Oh you bet your tootie frootie I am. This is absolutely hilarious.

Pat: MOM! NO!

Me: Well why the heck not?

Pat: Because…
        You can’t say the word vasectomy on your blog!

Me: Uh, I most certainly can. And this is totally blog worthy. To not blog about it would be wrong. Like a blogging sin or something.

We ended by me telling Pat that I would blog about it but not use any names. Pat sighed heavily but did not object so I took that to mean I was good to go ahead and post it.

So I did, as you can plainly see.  And if you don’t hear from me in the next few days you can assume I’ve been murdered in my sleep by one of my children but you’ll never know which one so they’ll totally get away with it. Bummer.

So, I absolutely love running now.

I KNOW.

What’s wrong with me, people?

And because I don’t know what’s good for me I ran through some leg pain, which became leg and back pain, which became leg and back and hip pain, which I kept running through. It never really hurt while I was running anyway, but still. Something just doesn’t seem right with me.

After two weeks of this, I had finally had enough when Wednesday, the first night Rabbit was gone, the pain was so bad that I couldn’t not fall asleep. It was 2 am before I was either so tired I passed out, or the pain subsided enough that I was able to drift off.  So when I woke up on Thursday morning, though the pain was not nearly as bad as it was the night before, I called to make an appointment with my doctor and after a bit of a fight to get an appointment before July 3rd, they told me to come in the next morning and they’d squeeze me in somehow.

5 x-rays and some poking and squeezing and surprise, nothing is wrong.  My doc sent me home with some good pain medication and told me not to run and to expect a physical therapy referral in the next couple of weeks because when you’re in pain they really want you to wait as long as possible before you get relief.

Also, I have developed a weird fear of taking new medication.  It started after I became responsible and began reading those inserts that the pharmacist gives you when you get a prescription filled because apparently I don’t have enough to worry about.  I’m pretty sure that all of the most serious side effects apply directly to me.  So, because I’d never taken the pain killer that my doctor gave me I was pretty sure I was allergic to it and my body would start seizing in protest, my lungs would shrivel up, I would end up shooting blood out of my eyes, and then all my hair would fall out.  After much deliberation, and encouragement from Kait who was pretty sure I was being absolutely ridiculous and was completely done with me complaining about my bum leg, I took a dose of the meds and they worked like a champ and I didn’t die.

Aaaand…
I was feeling so much better, in fact, that I went for a run with Kait tonight which, as it turns out, wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had in my entire life.  The run was great. It was after I was done that I realized my leg had caught on fire. 
I’m rebellious. And apparently I enjoy torturing myself.

So, yeah.

I’m a big fan of toddler beds and I really do not like cribs. I cannot really pin down a reason for not liking cribs, I just don’t, and I’ve always tried to move my babies into toddler beds as early as possible. Usually by a year and a half I have them sleeping quite comfortably in one of those adorable miniature beds.
Lucy is 16 months old now and has figured out how to turn around and back off feet first from things so I decided to let her nap in her big girl bed today for the first time just to see how she might like it.

It was a success.

I have the most adorable baby girl, y’all.
I’m so happy about this.

While she napped I went out into the garage and did some serious organizing. Rabbit went through it a couple of weeks ago and did a nice clean up job so it was really easy for me to see what kind of space I had to work with. 2 big 30 gallon bags of thrift store donations and a full 30 gallon trash can… The place is starting to look almost nice.

But really, nothing interesting has happened today at all. It’s been a really slow and boring day.

I did eat a tuna fish sandwich earlier. And my neighbor borrowed less than a third cup of sugar. And all my kids are unusually whiny because I let them stay up past their bedtimes last night.

Yeah. Nothing interesting at all.

I go now.

In part 1 I ended my post because I had to go into the store to fill up our 5, 5 gallon water jugs.  Nothing interesting happened while the bottles filled but on the way home we were stopped at a traffic light and there was this sports car next to us with two younger guys in it. The driver did this little I-am-pretty-much-the-coolest-guy-ever skid thing to impress his friend, I guess, and Kait rolled her eyes just as the driver looked over at us and he busted out in an embarrassed laugh and then Kait started laughing and it was so much funnier than it sounds now that I’m am writing it out.

Then we drove the rest of the way home.

Then the kids ate lunch.

12:45pm – I picked up the kitchen a little but it doesn’t look any different because as I was cleaning it my kids were messing it up.  Trying to clean with children in the house is like trying to brush your teeth while eating Oreos. I made that quote up. No, not really. That was a lie. I saw it on Pinterest. I really wish I made it up though.

1:00pm I put the letter I wrote to Rabbit at 2 in the morning in the mail. That’s what I do now when I can’t sleep. I write Rabbit letters.  He’s been gone 3 days now and I’ve written 3 letters.  I’m very tired.

1:01pm – Took the medicine for the pain in my right thigh that I apparently need physical therapy for but have to wait weeks for the referral. Also, I have a headache so hopefully the pain meds will work for that too.

1:35pm – To make a long story short, our local filtered water dispenser machine was out of order so a few days ago we had to buy 4 dozen water bottles so we didn’t have to drink the putrid Jacksonville water that comes out of our tap. What ended up happening was 48 half filled water bottles everywhere.  On the counters. On the table. On the porch. In the garage. Under the couch. Behind the Computer. In the pantry. In the dishwasher. In the bathroom. In the hamper… You get what I’m saying, right?
I don’t remember where I was going with this. My head still hurts.

1:40pm – I just now made a letter writing station in the corner of our bar counter so that we can easily mail Rabbit letters. The station includes cards, envelopes, his address, pens, and stamps.  If any of you who know him want to send him a package or letter or anything let me know and I’ll give you his mailing address on the boat. He’d love to hear from everybody – it can get pretty lonely out there.

1:45pm – I’m sitting here wondering if there supposed to be a space between the time and the pm or am? Would it be 1:45pm or 1:45 pm?  I would ask Google I don’t feel like it.

1:54pm – Taking construction toys apart. I swear I spend about 2 hours a day prying wooden pegs out of holes for Jesse. It’s reminiscent of Matthew and his Lego people’s arms. I would do Lego arm reattachment surgery at least 10 times a day. Now that Matthew can do the surgery on his own he doesn’t need me anymore. This is sad to me.

2:05pm – Why do my leg and head still hurt?

I’m realizing that I am having a very boring day. 
I’m going to post this now. I’ll be back later, I suppose, as there is so much more day left. Maybe something interesting will happen.

I haven’t been a good blogger lately so I’m going to blog a few times today about everything I’m doing to try to make up for my unfortunate absence. I apologize if it’s not funny. I’m off a bit since Rabbit left but hopefully after a little blogging I’ll work my way back to my normal goofy self. I miss that goofy girl. 

I didn’t wake up until 10:45 because Lucy didn’t wake up until 10:45 because she didn’t fall asleep until almost 4 in the morning, therefore I didn’t fall asleep until almost 4 in the morning.

I have a bad cold.

Kait is driving me to fill our 5, 5 gallon water jugs because our tap water tastes like something gross here in Jacksonville. Yes, Kait drives. She’s like a driving superstar.

I just saw a man smiling big while texting while riding his bike down the side of the highway.  I want to know what was so funny. Obviously this has nothing to do with me though, just an observation. I wonder if he’s afraid of getting hit. You know, with Kait driving and everything.

I hurt my leg and ended up at the doctor yesterday. Apparently nothing is wrong so they gave me something for the pain and a referral to physical therapy for next month so that’s helpful not much.

I have to go into the store now. Will blog more later.

I’ve been missing in action lately, I know. It’s okay though because Rabbit leaves for 9 months next week so we’re soaking up every minute we have with him for now. Also, I’m somewhat sad he’s going and am finding it difficult to write about all our humorous happenings, to which there have been many, so just you wait. We even had a 3-cop-car-screeching-to-a-halt-in-front-of-our-house event. After I resisted my initial urge to run, the whole episode was very funny. I’ll write a post about it next week.

Right now I’m helping Rabbit find a suit. He has to have one for deployment for some reason so I decided to thumb out a short post on my phone while the tailor takes his hem measurement.

And now he’s just about done with that so I’ll leave you with this picture of Lucy at the beach this morning. This child sure does love the water in a serious way.

Sam turned 5 last Wednesday and I didn’t end up writing his birthday post (or any other post, really) because I’m a procrastinator Rabbit came home from sea a couple days early and we went up to the squadron to meet his helicopter as he flew in.

And it just so happened to be the evening of Sam’s birthday and, according to Sam, going to see Dad fly home was all the bestest present ever and I’m going to be a Navy Flightsuit Man when I grow up, just like Dad.

While we waited for him we relaxed in a very important looking room with a giant snake that we were told was shedding and possibly very hungry so you’ll have to stay away from her. The boys made the most of this time and used the opportunity to have a serious meeting.

After Rabbit was finished with all his official helicopter whatchamadoogie stuff we went home and ate a late dinner, but it was too late to celebrate Sam’s birthday properly so we postponed that. It didn’t bug Sam much though, and he continuously talked about how amazing his birthday was and how going to the squadron and seeing Dad fly home was pretty much the best thing that has ever happened to him.

Also, on our way to pickup Rabbit this conversation happened.

Sam: I might get to fly a helicopter.

Gabe: Um… I don’t think so. Nobody has taught you how to fly a helicopter, Sam.

Sam: I KNOW. Because I already KNOW how to fly a helicopter, GABE.

Gabe: Oh Really? Tell me how then.

Sam: Well, first you have to find the Navy button and push it.  Then there are lots of other buttons and you push the right ones and they will teach you how to fly the helicopter. And when you are done with that there are more buttons that you push to fly the helicopter.

And there you have it, folks. We’re all professional helicopter pilots now. Sweet.

I got the super smooth icing idea from Cake Central, through Pinterest, (If you need an invite, I gotch-yo back), and pretty much forced Kait to try it with me against her will.

Then I took a picture.

Yeah, so it turned out pretty much awesome, as you can plainly see.