Fodder For Thought – Learning Your Man
Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 at
7:00 am
Sunday my husband decided to help me get the kids some food during our weekly common meal after church, which includes a range of delicious foods to choose from. Ryan has watched me get food for 4 people at once many times and was more than willing to try it himself. So, before I could stop him he made his way through the line and got food for our 5, 4, and 23 month old boys.
He got them spaghetti. In their nice church clothes. Spaghetti.
I could have said something before he actually gave them their plates. If it were me I would have wanted him to say something to me to prevent disaster. But, I have learned my husband better than that. I didn’t think he would want me to direct him in this area even though years of practice has taught me how to do the job better.
So, I just let him do his thing. It didn’t take but about 5 minutes for him to come to the conclusion that spaghetti wasn’t the best idea and that he should just let me get their food from then on.
I have learned from my husband, by simply asking him, that men typically don’t want us to school them. They usually prefer that we step back and let them do things their way, mistakes and all. Yes, there are a few exceptions and my husband and I have discussed this so I know what they are. Still, the majority of the time he just wants to do it himself; and to be a good helper, as God has called me to be, I must step back even when I know it is me who will be doing the cleaning up.
It can be hard. Like Sunday and the spaghetti. I knew what we were in for when I saw him carrying it out on the plates. But I also knew that it would benefit all of us in the end if I just let him do it.
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I can usually keep my mouth shut on things like this… keeping my face expressionless is another story. I suppose the key is to have the right attitude so then I wouldn’t have to worry about any wayward eye rolls or grimaces.
A wise woman gave me this advice years ago and it has proven true time and again. She said, “Bite your tongue.” Good job on biting your tongue. I would have had a hard time not saying anything.
Yeah, it took practice for me to learn how to bite my tongue – and, s g, it took me even more practice to keep the unnecessary facial expressions from creeping in. Now I don’t seem to be bothered by it at all. Actually, I find some humor in it.
Thanks for commenting!
And, Mommy Reg -
I am still working on the 100 things post. I got to 35 and then got stuck. Hopefully, since it’s been a little while since I’ve looked at it I’ll be able to add to it a little quicker now. ~:O)
I know this is "old" but this is a good reminder for me. I detest that part of me that wants to school my husband. Thanks for the encouragement and I am determined to try even harder to rule my heart, my tongue, and my facial expressions!