from the (snail) mail bag
I’m old enough to know that a letter I received in the mail today about a senior funeral program wasn’t meant to deter 12th graders from drinking and driving. However, I didn’t think I was quite old enough yet to start receiving end-of-life solicitations.
It’s like one day you’re frolicking in 20-something people stuff like, well, like stuff 20-something people frolick in. Then the next day you wake up and realise that you are 30-something and you no longer know what young people are doing these days. And you don’t even care anyway because young people make stupid decisions and they are sure they’re smarter than everybody and they think people in their 30′s can’t possibly know anything but then one day the 20-somethings find that they are now a 30-something thinking the exact same thing about 20-something people and the cycle never, ever ends.
And then you receive something in the mail about how you should really start thinking more about your funeral and you think to yourself, But I’m only 36! I’m still young! I even still make stupid decisions sometimes! For heaven’s sake, I have a netbook! And a smart phone! But then you take a closer look at the letter, which is addressed specifically to you and doesn’t even have or current resident under your name and it says that you may qualify for the Funeral Advantage Program that thousands of other Florida residents age 50-85 have been accepted into and if you act now you’ll also receive some valuable planning help which appears to to be a book called, My Final Wishes and you ask yourself, Why the heck didn’t anybody tell me I turned 50?
And then you realise that, dang you look good for your age.
Filed under: Funny
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