i’m getting a new house, people. like tomorrow.
The military has decided to conduct an experiment on my family. Probably. Also, I think they have severely underestimated my abilities.
Here’s is the government’s plan of action:
Step 1. Offer family something that they cannot turn down. A giant new house that is pretty much on the beach (almost) and in a gated community and within walking distance to pretty much everything and running distance from work and has an awesome screened in porch and a microwave above the oven and tell them we’ll take care of the lawn and utilities and everything.
Step 2: Send husband away for 3 weeks to blow crap up.
Step 3: Inform family that if they want the house they have 1 week and then the offer is gone forever.
Step 4: Tell them they are crazy for trying to move on one week’s notice with 8 kids and a husband who is off blowing crap up for 3 weeks.
Step 5: Kind of giggle a little at their predicament.
Step 6: Chart family’s behavior. This is an experiment after all.
And I’m telling you people that this is all a conspiracy to send me into a state of continual anxiety attacks so they can drug me with valium or xanex so they can steal my coffee maker or my cat or something without me putting up a fight.
This is the house:
And this is my plan:
Step 1: Put on superhero cape.
Step 2: Accept house. And with excitement.
Step 3: Set up move and get stuff ready in, like, a day.
Step 4: Thank myself for being (almost) a minimalist and not hanging crap all over my walls.
Step 5:Thank myself again for severely decluttering my house just before Lucy was born.
Step 6: Take a nap and dream of ocean front property (almost) and the smell of the Atlantic and gentle breezes and then realize that this isn’t a dream, IT’S FOR REAL!
Filed under: Friends & Family
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!