Many of you know that we have completed our homestudy that qualifies our family to adopt from foster care here in Florida and many other places in the USA.  That was a year and a half ago and since then we have experienced the ups and downs of matches, non-matches, hope, mistakes, recertification, and the heartbreak of knowing a child is a victim of something that can potentially create in him or her predatory-like behaviors.  It angers me that a parent, or anybody, would do such things to a child. It angers me that those abuses can and do change a child, even a very young toddler, forever.

We recently received a call about a child that our family is being considered to adopt.  This caught me completely off guard because I feel we are often overlooked as a possible match because of our family size.  We’ve had calls about 3 possible placements so far and each call has had me so nervous.  The case worker asks me questions about our family, why we want to adopt, what we do for fun, and I’m so afraid of saying the wrong thing, not being clear, not giving enough information or giving too much information or going on and on about nonsense that doesn’t do anything but make me seem a little crazy so I err on the side of caution and do more listening instead of talking which I am not sure is any better.

I can’t think of the right questions to ask until I get off the phone and then I’m afraid to call back because I don’t want to appear obsessively eager but if I don’t call back our interest in the child might not be fully realized. I get my hopes up and remind myself not to get my hopes up in 10 second cycles and my stomach sits in knots while I try and reason with myself that being calm and patient and trusting in God is the best course of action.

The truth is we aren’t likely going to be matched with this child, no matter how much I want this placement. Because even though we believe that being adopted into a large, bonded family can be an asset to a traumatized child, from the outside looking in it can just appear like organized chaos, which is also true.

But, seriously, who wouldn’t want to be a part of this obviously fun family?

My plan is to remember that God is in control and if He is preparing us to adopt a child or sibling group we’ll know when He’s ready for us to know.  Until then, I’ll just hope and pray that we’re prepared for him, her, or they when the time comes.

And when that happens we’ll have fun updating our family pictures for sure.

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Filed under: adoptionFriends & Family

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