This post is about a lizard. Kind of. Actually, I think I discuss odd store employees more than lizards.
As it turns out, the largest of our 3 dragons, Akbar, a 29″ Chinese water dragon, will possibly reach three and a half feet long before all is said and done, and will need a six foot long enclosure at his full adult size. He was just 8 inches when we got him and apparently I had no idea what we were getting into even though the people at the pet store were quite confident that we were going to be excellent dragon owners.
Seriously though, they should really have some kind of warning about these things but they don’t because then nobody would buy them and that wouldn’t be good for business so they just play dumb and tell you that, Yes, that 30 gallon aquarium will do just fine.
Either they just plain lied to me or they’re complete idiots. Or both.
However, this post isn’t about Akbar or un-knowledgeable pet store staff or 6 foot water dragon cages. This post is about another lizard’s cage that was born out of my need to declutter and my desire not to spend hundreds of dollars on a pre-made bearded dragon vivarium.
We named him Moriarty but rarely do we ever call him that. We usually call him Arty. Or Marty. Or Maury. He’s got a lot of nick names.
He’ll likely get between 1.5 and 2 feet long and we knew when we got him from the Repticon show last month that our 10 gallon aquarium would only be suitable for him until he was 8 inches long because the people who sell animals at Repticon seem to have absolutely zero problem telling you how owning a dragon is for realz. This is where the ugly, slated-to-be-trashed bookcase cabinet came in. I decided it would make a swell apartment complex for Moriarty.
We spent some time researching safe ways to paint it, much to the paint mixer’s at Lowe’s dismay because the guy really didn’t want us to buy oil based paint and couldn’t figure for the life of him why oil based was best for this project even though a bird cage or rabbit hut would need water based. I began to explain to him that birds and lizards and rabbits all belonged to completely different animal classes but I was derailed when another testy paint mixer broke in that she was very concerned that I was actually going to use oil based paint in my present pregnant state. I informed her that the ventilation situation couldn’t be better because we were doing all the painting outside, and that I had numerous face masks to keep my incubating child safe, to which she actually tsk, tsk’d me.
Anyway, we painted it and decorated it and managed to recondition it for only about $40 and nobody died so I’m calling this a success.
Eventually we’ll add the upper level to his little desert dwelling, I think, but as of right now he’s just too little for that big of a space.
I would like to close this post by saying that lizardy pets take way more upkeep than you would initially think, but they are so much easier to deal with than those more common, furry, domesticated types that leave their excess fur in every crack and crevice and tend to smell bad and eat food that smells bad and make deposits that smell bad…
It’s not that pet dogs are bad, it’s only that pet lizards are better.
I’m just sayin’.
In my opinion.
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