Warning: This post is about evil appliance spirits and may cause fear of kitchens.
You know how sometimes when you’re just sitting quietly in the living room, your appliances just turn on by themselves and start cooking their insides without permission? No, you probably don’t because you probably don’t have a possessed microwave. But we did and this is that story.
Our over-the-range microwave has gone rogue numerous times since we’ve moved into this house 2 years ago, and we’ve had it repaired 3 times. We live on the Navy base and these repairs are completed by the base housing maintenance staff who has pretty much written our family off as completely crazy.
The first time it happened a maintenance guy came in, plugged the microwave back in and started it and said it was fine, handing me the “completed maintenance” form, and I was all like IT’S TURNING ON AND RUNNING BY ITSELF AND THAT IS NOT FINE. Although I couldn’t see his face, I am pretty sure I actually heard his eyes roll. He then told me he’d let his supervisor know what I said and I was kind of really irritated by that because that usually means that absolutely nothing will be done at all about anything.
It took a call to the housing manager and about 6 weeks to get that fixed and then 4 or 5 months later it happened again and I called maintenance again and the guy on the phone said it sounded more like a call for the chaplain, not the maintenance staff. I agreed but asked him if he could still send somebody over. He did. This time it took another call to the housing manager and about 3 months to get it fixed.
This last time we told our favorite maintenance guy that we really didn’t want to keep that particular microwave because it was obviously possessed and evil spirits are scary. His hands appeared to be tied because he couldn’t claim something as irreparable if he could get it back to working order, even if it was temporary, so Rabbit called the housing office and told them that it was not acceptable to leave us with a microwave that may or may not be possessed but probably was and possibly desired to see us dead or at least maimed. The lady at housing was very unhelpful and said she’d have to move our complaint up the chain to her manager which produced absolutely no results even after a month.
However, our maintenance guy decided that even though our microwave was temporarily fixable he would claim it as irreparable and get us a new one and I wasn’t to tell anybody about it so shhh and SERIOUSLY? I cannot even believe he had to sort of fudge paperwork to protect us from this appliance.
Anyway, we have a brand spanking new microwave now although instead of being possessed with appliance spirits it always has sugar ants inside of it. And they don’t die when you microwave them.
This entire thing is really strange.
Filed under: this house
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