What not to buy a 23 month old for Christmas. Yes, I’m still refusing to say 2 year old. I have another week and half. Okay?

I got Jesse his first coloring book and a set of crayons for Christmas.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  I’m a mom of almost 8.  You’d think I’d have this down by now.

Maybe, subconciously, I’m punishing myself for something.  Crayons sounded like a good idea at the time. Ryan was with me when I grabbed them up from the shelf.  He didn’t stop me.

Hey!  That means I can totally blame this on him!

Jesse calls crayons sebanas, or at least that’s what he’s calling them today.  I’m not sure how he got that from the word crayon but there ya go.  And, although the crayons sabanas have been a really big hit, he hasn’t colored not one speck of his new coloring book.  Hasn’t even opened it.  I opened it and showed him the pages.  He said, Oh! and promptly picked up a big handful of crayon out of the box.  I thought he was finally getting it until he tossed them at me.

According to Jesse there are better uses for crayons than just coloring.  Because coloring in a coloring book would be, like, so totally 3 year old.

Apparently they’re also quite good for:

1. tossing up in the air
2. feeding the dog
3. feeding the fish
4. feeding your brother
5. feeding your mom
6. feeding yourself
7. breaking into small pieces
8. sticking down diapers
9. sticking up noses
10. sticking in ears
11. sticking in coffee
    no drink is safe
12. sticking in your mouth
13. sticking wherever
14. writing in books
15. writing on the couch
16. writing on the door
17. writing on the wall
18. writing on the coffee mug
19. writing on the coffee table
20. writing wherever
21. poking Moms eye out
22. poking Kait’s eye out
23. poking the dogs eye out
24. poking your own eye out
25. ruining the $100 check your in-laws sent you for Christmas. 
    Okay, he didn’t actually do this last one.  But he came close.  It was definitely his intention.

And now, actually while I was typing this, every last one of Jesse’s crayons have become neatly tucked away behind my couch.  Probably making friends with small broken toys, ripped up papers, and other random trash.  They’ll breed soon, I know it.  We’ll have a host of unrecognizable… um… things back there when we go to move out of the house.

I suppose most of you probably move your couch and clean thoroughly behind it when stuff like this happens.

I don’t.  There is usually somebody on it.  Like me.

And it’s hard to move a couch while you’re sitting on it.  Just take my word for it.

Plus, when you have a Jesse stuff like this happens regularly.  If I cleaned behind it everytime he put something back there I might as well keep the couch pulled out in the middle of the living room.  Permanently.

Tagged with: a toddler lives here

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