why a midwife. why a home birth. why now after 7 hospital births.
Turns out we fit in well with crazy.
A few years ago I had it in my mind that people who used midwives instead of doctors were a little odd. And people who had their babies at home were all crazy.
Right now I’m waiting at my midwife’s office for my 36 week appointment. We’ll be having this 8th baby at home here in the next month or so.
I figured I’d give you a little bit of info on what we’re doing and why. You know, just in case you’re curious.
I actually don’t get all that much inquiry about it. Probably because everybody we know has just assumed we’re crazy and that answers all questions.
They’re right, I’m sure.
But still. I’m going to lay it all out for you anyway since some of you have asked about it in recent days.
Um… I’m no longer at my appointment. I’m home, but barely. Traffic is freakish and I’m sure half the drivers on the road today were out for blood. My blood.
[here is where i kiss the ground and thank God for safe passage home]
We didn’t start off this pregnancy planning a home birth. Like I said, home birthers are were all nuts.
So, how did we find ourselves on the crazy train, you ask? Or maybe you didn’t ask. Whatever.
When we moved to where we live now and were searching for an OB for this current pregnancy, we could find not one OB doctor who would agree to give me a little leeway with the so called “rules”. I wasn’t asking for anything illegal or insane, but none of the OBs would see me without me agreeing to all the so-called optionals. This has never been a problem before so I was really wowed that nobody would work with me.
One doctor, after me not allowing her to do a complete physical on me so she could know me well enough to deliver my baby safely (which were her exact words), had had it UPTOHERE with me and said, You may just want to think about having an unassisted home birth. That’s the only way you’re going to get what you’re asking for without paying thousands of dollars.
She informed me that, really, my only option in this area was to follow the rules. Her rules.
Oh. Really.
I thanked her kindly for her advice and promptly left her office.
When I got home I lamented to my dear husband that I was 21 weeks pregnant and without a doctor. Thus started our search for a midwife.
Still not planning a home birth.
Still not sure a midwife would be the right way to go.
Still not sure about anything…
I met with Sharon. We talked. I asked questions. Turned out Tricare did cover the majority of her midwifery services (though that didn’t last long). I told her we were interested in having our baby at her birthing center. She gave me her personal information so my husband could call her with questions about a possible home birth – we’d be excellent candidates.
Suddenly I found myself really wanting to have this baby here at home. Though I doubted Ryan would be cool with it.
I talked with him about it, shared my new information and thoughts with a subdued attitude, and was surprised when a few days later he said, Okay. Let’s just do this thing here.
Here meaning in our home.
And now you know how easily crazy can happen.
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There is a part of me that regrets us not having any of our babies at home…I’m so excited for you guys and can’t wait for Wicker to arrive!
You know there is no way this baby is actually going to be a girl. I think we’re going to have a Henry.
Or already have a Henry. There’s a baby already here. Kicking me. Keeping me up at night.
So you think I am crazy. Hummm . . . Now the truth comes out.
P.S. My baby was keeping me awake kicking last night too. I guess he didn’t want me sleeping on my left side.
P.P.S. Are you coming to town to occupy some of your time this weekend?
Yes.
Well actually, it’s more like the first sign of madness is denial. So, if I go ahead and admit to being crazy, and a lot, the less crazy that makes me.
And I figure the more crazy things I do the less crazy I look.
This works, right?
Actually, I starting to agree with Gen (commenter below) that I was more crazy when I wanted to use the hospital.
Your left side?
My baby doesn’t want me sleeping at all, I guess.
I really want to visit this weekend but Ryan’s been having lots of night flights so well have to see what his Friday schedule is.
I don’t figure I am crazy for homebirthing, but I know many people who think we are crazy. 🙂
I didn’t sleep well all together, but he kicked me A LOT while I was on my left side. I don’t know what his problem was.
Schedule shmedule.
There you are. You were commenting at the same time I was.
Hehe.
So, is it terribly messy?
My water did break on my bed, and the liner between the two sheets was two separate pieces. Both sets of sheets got wet. That was a bit messy, but definitely not the end of the world. But this time we will have a better liner. No big deal.
Also, I am with you about wanting the labor to go as quickly as it can and to just have the baby in my arms. I am definitely not into “really enjoying” labor. I hope this time is like the last time- 5 hours (or less) of contractions 6-7 minutes apart.
Yeah, we’re ordering one of those fitted plastic sheets. Hopefully that will keep out bedding nice and clean.
No, you’re not crazy – but lots of people just think home birth is crazy and the majority perception is what I usually go off of when I write, or talk, or whatever. Like with having lots of kids, homeschooling, etc…
I’m not really crazy for doing all that. Our reasons are quite sound and bibilical. But other people think we’re nuts. I’m okay with that – I don’t mind being the odd one. Totally used to it by now.
I’m in the process of getting used to it. The shock (on my end) isn’t as bad as it used to be. I think people are getting used to us too.
Its also getting less different to do things differently. Especially in the south.
That makes the shock part off it a little less shocking I guess.
Awesome! If you have a Henry, we can call him Hank!!! 🙂 I’m so excited!
That’s exactly what Ryan said when I told him that you mentioned the name Hank.
See, I don’t think homebirthers are crazy at all. To me, it makes perfect sense – you’re not sick, it’s not normally a dangerous situation, you and the baby are less likely to catch a super bug or have unnecessary surgery. I think normal, uncomplicated birth in a hospital it crazy.
And I’ve had 2 hospital births… simply because having an assisted birth at home was illegal for the assistant in my former state (SD). I know there are real, valid reasons for hospital births and surgical births within hospitals. If I fell into any of those categories, I would be beating down their doors to get in. But I’m healthy, baby’s healthy… bring it!
Exactly how I feel now after some good learnin’. I’d been so convinced over the years that a woman couldn’t possibly have a healthy pregnancy without the assistance of a doctor.
Duh. How does that make any sense?
How’d we all get here then, I wonder?
Glad to finally get it all now before we were done having kids.
Ok, so I have a few questions, well..more like one question
I do think home births are crazy…but that is just me.. I guess I look at it as more of ….gross…than crazy..
NOT to be cruel, I know people say that having a baby is a beautiful thing and everything that goes along with it is beautiful..I disagree.. I think it is messy and gross and yes, you get a beautiful little angel at the end…but not until the end 🙂 I look forward to giving birth to the little one inside my tummy, but I also look forward having someone else clean up all the mess for me, change my sheets, etc and go home to my nice clean house 🙂
So I guess my question is, where do you have the baby?? In your bed? Do they bring commercial plastic in to protect your mattress/carpet/everything? That has always been the part that gets me.. I totally understand being in the comfort of your own home, especially when you have a large family… But isnt it just really messy? Just wondering 😉 Much Love!
It isn’t any messier than at a hospital. Same yuck, and we don’t have to clean it up ourselves either, just like at a hospital. In a hospital everything is contained quite nicely – it’ll be the same at home, too.
The mess was actually our biggest concern and our midwife calmed our fears quickly.
We make the bed with fresh sheets, put a plastic sheet down over them, then make it again with more sheets. In the end whoever (midwife’s assistant maybe?) just lifts up the plastic sheet and everything and your fresh sheets are down on the bed as if you just came home from the hospital.
We have a giant roll of wide plastic sticky tape for the floor that was left from some movers – the stuff they use to protect your floors when they move you in and out of a house, but I’ve been told I probably won’t need it. It’s just not that messy.
Hmm… Well that makes sense… I don’t know why I thought they would not clean it up. I just new a gal who did a home/water birth and her sister was left cleaning up all of the mess 🙁 . I am excited for you guys! YOu will have to let me know how it goes and what your thoughts are on it!
It may depend on the place you use. All midwives do things a little differently. Maybe a cheaper midwife does less?
I’m not into water birthing and I’ve heard that could get messy because you have to drain that nasty water somewhere and then clean out the tub. I’m sure the midwife doesn’t have time to go through all that.
We’re actually thinking of just tossing all our old sheets after it’s over. We just bought new to use after the baby is born. But we’ll see after it’s all done.
Maybe my friend Lauren will chime in. She’s had a homebirth already – midwife didn’t even make it before the baby was born.
Lauren??? You out there in cyberspace anywhere?
I’m here, I’m here.
I did have one water birth at a birthing center. The clean up isn’t bad. They just drain the water outside. You buy a disposable liner for the tub. Once the water is drained, you toss the liner. Easy as pie. Maybe even easier.
The birth that I had at home: The midwife and her assistant cleaned up everything into one neat little trash bag. They have been doing this for quite some time and have a very efficient clean up. I really wasn’t left with any mess to clean up. 🙂
That’s how it seems ours will be done. Quick, easy cleanup.
We were worried that that would be our responsibility and it would be a big mess but after talking to the midwife about it learned it wouldn’t be too bad at all.
Oh, and by the way.. I hope I wasn’t insulting when I said I think its gross… I think its all gross..Hospital or home 😀 But if it was insulting, i apologize..
Love you!
That’s another thing about not being a sentimental person, I don’t get insulted easily either. 😉
Maybe I have an emotional deficiency.
Oh, and I’m not into all that foo-foo having a baby is beautiful crap. Yes, the baby is beautiful but the birth process is a pain in my rear end. Literally. It makes my butt hurt.
I’ve never done lamaze or bradley or any of those classes. It’s just not in my personality.
I’m just not a sentimental person, I guess. A lot of people don’t get that.
I just want to have the baby as fast as possible and be done with it. Not have to stay in the hospital, not be woken up every hour to have my blood pressure taken, my stomach pushed on and my temperature recorded in those first few days where your baby actually sleeps well, etc…
Not that anything is wrong with people who really get into the labor and delivery part of it all – it’s just not me.
I’m using a midwife but she delivers at a hospital. So far I can’t tell any difference between her and a regular Dr. I’ll let you know at the end if I can.
I’m going to write a post soon about the differences I’m seeing in my midwife verses doctors I’ve used in the past. It is vast.
There are two types of midwives. Certified Nurse Midwives and Certified Professional Midwifes. CNMs often deliver in hospitals and are quite often similar to doctors, just more relaxed about everything – however, the doctor I tried to see here has a CNM on staff who is absolutely no different than the doctors. CPMs can’t deliver in hospitals (at least I don’t think so, or maybe this varies by state) and usually deliver at birthing centers and/or homes. They tend to be much, much more relaxed from what my research and experience has told me.
My insurance only covers CNMs now. My midwife is a CPM. I think, from what I’ve read, that I’d prefer the CPM even with the lack of insurance.
Mine is a CNM. And I can’t tell a difference. Lots of people say I will be able to tell a difference when I deliver though. Time will tell! I have never had a bad experience with a doctor though. With Luke I had a bad experience with two nurses screaming “Push!” in my face for the whole 5 minutes and 3 pushes it took to get him out. Geez. They didn’t even stop when I politely asked them to be quiet and back up…lol. They took their job SERIOUSLY. Heath kept looking at them like they were crazy. They were freaking out more than I was!
I’ve not had a really bad experience with a doctor until this baby. I just think the way they do things here is a bit ridiculous. I’m not sick. I’m having a baby. I don’t want to be treated like a diseased cow. That’s just weird.